you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
