Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
