you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
