can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
