Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Say something about gay babies.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
