I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
