She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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