I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
