she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
