I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
