I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
