I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
