I'm going to jail i love you
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
