I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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