i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
