We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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