He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
