I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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