16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
