1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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