What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
