when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
