God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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