I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
