Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
