can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
