you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
