I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize