my sisters under your porch take her home
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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