Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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