we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize