I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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