Im at strip club and am horny
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize