He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
