You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she told me i tasted like america
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I touched a dick in church today
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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