We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
