I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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