i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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