That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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