Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
false alarm. still invincible.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
