She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
