East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
