my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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