The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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