But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
