THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
