all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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