She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
