there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
