u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize