Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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