I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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