So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
