nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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