i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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