I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Small penises have feelings too.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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