I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
