omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ugly people sure do ruin things
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
