Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
