Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
