i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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