I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
