We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
