Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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