Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
