My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize